Thursday, February 21, 2008

Close Encounter Of The Japanese Kind

Scene: The supermarket, Wednesday 4:15pm


Him: Are you alien?

Me: [pause] Sorry?

Him: Are you alien?

Me: I'm from another country. Australia.

Him: Oh, alien. Ghostbusters! ... Are you teacher?

Me: Yes, English.

Him: I am samurai. Be careful.

Me: Oh, ok.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Brrrr

I guess I've gotten used to the cold now. Gifu city's not exactly a cold place on a world scale, but it does get colder than Melbourne in the winter. The real trouble with winter here in Japan is that central heating is not common. It seems that only the very rich, with new houses, have central heating. Everyone else makes due with small electric bar heaters, a kotatsu, or kerosene heaters. Kotatsu? It's an ingenious invention, really- I don't know why they haven't caught on everywhere in the world. A kotatsu is a low table with a heating element attached to the underside of it. You put a blanket over it and sit with your legs and most of your body underneath the blanket. The heat is trapped under the table and blanket and only your head and arms (if you're eating) are exposed. Lots of JETs have them, but unfortunately, I don't. They aren't cheap, and apparently none of my predecessors had one (unless they sold it before I arrived to get some extra cash, which wouldn't surprise me). But most of my friends have a kotatsu and we've spent many pleasant nights enveloped in its warmth.

All I have is one electric bar heater. It works ok... I'm basically living in just one room of my apartment over winter because that's all it will heat. And I use the term 'heat' loosely. At this very moment, my room is 14.6 degrees Celcius. Believe it or not, that's warm. For safety and financial reasons, I leave the heater off overnight, which means that this morning, for example, it was 5 degrees in my room when I woke up. Yep, I can see my breath as I'm getting ready for work. But like I said, I think I'm used to it now. And people live in much worse conditions than this, anyway.

The other heating option here in Japan is the very antiquated kerosene system. The heaters themselves are pretty advanced, all technological, with timers and sensors to 'ensure' that dangerous gases don't build up... but I still have my doubts about them. To keep a kerosene heater full, you have to lug a storage container to the gas station, have it filled up, and lug it back to your apartment. All the while trying desperately not to spill it. Then you have to fill the heater up, again trying even more desperately not to spill it, so you don't soak your carpet in flammable liquid. Then, while the heater is running, you should actually leave a window open so that carbon monoxide and other fumes don't build up and slowly poison you to death, over time. Plenty of people ignore the leave-the-window-open advice, and I heard first-hand from one JET that he ended up getting really bad respiratory problems as a result. The other thing that's scared me off kerosene is that my desk is in prime position at work, right next to one of two huge kerosene heaters in the staffroom. So I inhale plenty of poisonous fumes during the day- why get them at night too?

As much as I think I've adapted to my 4-degree bedroom, I can't wait for spring to come. Which apparently we are well into by now, according to the Chinese lunar calendar. Whaaaat? Mid-February? Spring? Yes, it really is too good to be true- no such luck. I guess I'm stuck wearing my ski coat and scarf and huddling next to the heater for another month or so.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

I Found The Twilight Zone in Tokyo

Two random, pretty weird things happened to me in Tokyo on my recent trips there, and I just have to get them down.

1. The scene: New Years Eve, sick in bed at a cheap hotel because I got food poisoning from KFC! On my 10th visit to the bathroom, I am sitting in the cubicle when I become aware that the Indian guys from down the hall (who have been partying in their room for several hours) have decided to also take a trip to the bathroom before they venture out for NY celebrations. It suddenly occurs to me that this is a unisex toilet, and there are urinals just outside my door. So I vow to remain silent and let them do their business. One by one, they come in, take care of the task at hand (I am unfortunately privy to exactly what that involves), and leave, taking their sweet time! After each one leaves I am SURE it must be over, but no- another one shuffles in. I am getting more and more annoyed and embarrassed by the second, not just because it's not exactly pleasant listening to the tinkling, but also because I am afraid if they find out I've been in there all along, who knows how they might react. Just when I think it can't get much worse, drunk Indian guy number 8 comes in, warbling 'My Heart Will Go On'. Yes, the Celine Dion ballad. In an Indian accent. At least it drowned out the other sounds.

2. My friend Leanne and I are walking across a busy street in Akihabara, the area of Tokyo where all the weird and wonderful newest technological advances first go on sale. Just as we reach the other side, we both feel someone rubbing our heads firmly and vigorously. I am stunned for a couple of seconds and the possibilities of who it might be run through my head. Leanne's friend Yota, who we met for dinner last night? His friend Simon, who we also met? We turn around and see a middle-aged Japanese guy in glasses running away (in what can only be described as a 'frolicking' manner), half giggling, half-panicked. It sounds funny, but it left me outraged. A complete invasion of... everything. And people around us, although they had noticed, didn't bat an eyelid because the Japanese are masters of the 'bystander effect'. This angered me even more. Looking back, yes, it's funny... but unsettling, because he could have done way more than just mess up our hair.