New Year, New Post

I know it's all a big cliche to say that with a New Year comes new resolutions, the turning over of a new leaf, and all that. But recently - this week, actually - I've felt that something has changed in my outlook on my time here in Japan. I've suddenly started feeling a lot more comfortable here. It's probably due to a lot of things- I'm slowly but surely improving my Japanese (and have actually found a class that lets me learn how to SPEAK in Japanese as opposed to learning obscure grammatical rules); I'm approaching the 6 month mark of being here; I've pretty much resolved to stay here for another year, beyond my original one-year contract; and the fact that Leanne, my high school friend, is visiting from Australia.

Travelling with someone who is seeing Japan with a completely fresh outlook has made me aware of how much I actually do know about Japanese language, society, culture and trivial things. Even just knowing a nice cafe to take Leanne to, only a 5 minute walk from my house, made me realize that I'm not so much of an 'alien' here, but that I actually live here and am a functioning part of society... well, somewhat, anyway.

Now, I also don't feel so much like I'm part of some big imperialist effort to 'spread English to the masses' around the world. Being hired by the Japanese government to go inform people about English and Australian / Western culture didn't sit 100% comfortably with me. But I know it's up to me to make it what it is. I can go in there and demand the students 'say this', or 'do that', but the more classes I teach, the more I realise that my role is not to change them into outspoken, opinionated pseudo-Western English speakers. They are what they are, even if their behavior in class does come across as a little catatonic or 'robotic' overall. If I can make a few students a bit more passionate, a bit more motivated, a bit more confident about English, then I've done what I came here for. Sounds idealistic, I know, but last weekend something happened that made me feel it was happening. Five students from my school participated in an English Speech Competition in my city. The other ALT and I coached them for about 2 weeks, every day after school, in pronounciation, delivery, gesturing, etc. And we really saw an improvement. Most importantly, I could see that just practicing a speech they had written by themselves was giving them a lot of confidence and motivation. Especially for one student, Shiori, who I could tell was naturally shy and afraid to speak English. But she worked incredibly hard on practicing her speech, and took in everything I told her. She ended up winning the competition! In fact, all 5 of our students (3 of which we had coached) took the top 5 spots. Granted, only 2 schools were competing, but nevertheless, it would have meant a lot to those students. And to our school. I've never really been in a position to feel 'proud' of someone, since I've never been a teacher or coach before, but it really does feel great.

The other thing that has given me more confidence in my job is that yesterday one of my colleagues (a Japanese Teacher of English, or 'JTE') told me that every time she goes to teach a certain class, they ask 'where's Jessica?'. Apparently they really love my class. All this time I've been feeling that they weren't getting much out of it, they were bored, didn't understand anything I was saying, and so on. But all my efforts to make the classes fun and understandable are apparently not in vain. Japanese students, as I've been at pains to explain to people back home, are extremely shy, reserved and downright unresponsive compared to students in the West. Now, when I came here, I knew all about Japanese culture putting emphasis on the group and 'hammering down the nail that sticks out', etc. But it has been really hard to accept that Japanese students could actually be interested in a class, despite acting like they've had a frontal lobotomy. I'm sure there are some that really don't want to be there, but I think the majority of students do get something out of my classes, and I'm so glad to know that. The other thing is that Japanese people (ie. my work colleagues) don't tend to give feedback or talk about how a class or project went. So generally, I've had nothing to go on as far as working out whether my lessons are acceptable/worthwhile or not.

Anyway, to round out this deep and meaningful post, I guess I'll jot down my resolutions for 2008. Until this year I've never actually had resolutions. But now that I'm a 'real adult'- 25 and living alone, thousands of miles from my family - I've become aware of few things I need/want to do:
-Be more decisive. There are no right or wrong decisions, but make a decision and if it turns out not so good, deal with it.
-Eat healthier and try to exercise more. (the old staple)
-Be more open with other people.
-Find a hobby and actually stick with it.
-Trust your instincts.

Ok, let's go 2008!